(Reuters) Jose Bautista, Right Fielder for the Toronto Blue Jays, hit two home runs on Tuesday in a win over the New York Yankees. Leading all of major league baseball, Bautista's HR season total now sits at 40.
This has undoubtedly miffed Yankee fans around the world as he has clearly out-performed Alex Rodriguez, a displeasing pretty-boy and well-known juicer.
Here are comparable stats:
Rodriguez: HR - 21; RBI - 97; OBP (Iain Smith's stupid favourite statistic) - .333
Bautista: HR - 40; RBI - 95; OBP - .373 (further, he is precisely 5x more handsome and charming)
It is especially stinging for the defending World Chumps and their vitriolic fans that Rodriguez earns nearly 15 times more than Bautista ($33.0m and $2.4m a year respectively).
When asked by Tricia Takanawa, PaF reporter, how he explains his vast superiority over Rodriguez, Bautista responded "Rice, I eat a lot of rice."
When asked by Takanawa how he explains Rodriguez's mediocre performance, Bautista responded "Cheese, he eats too much cheese."
Bullshit.
ReplyDeleteYeah, and what's up with that little smirk A-Rod permanently has on his maw? Whenever my better half sees him, she says "Kimochi warui," which translates, roughly, to: "He is disgusting."
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