Good vs. Evil

In honour of the baseball post-season, let's imagine history's all-time bad guys matching up against the all-time good guys. Here are the line-ups. Who do you like in a seven game series? Anyone missing?

Bad Guys
1. RF-Adolf Hitler--terrible mustache, pansy arm but always seems to get on base. Led the league in persecutions and walks 4 years in a row.
2. SS-Joseph Stalin--excellent mustache, ruthless dictator, good singles hitter but weak defender.
3. 1B-Tomas de Torquemada--the man behind the Spanish Inquisition can hit to all fields.
4. DH-Genghis Kahn--the leader of the Mongol hordes has monster power but a temper to match.
5. 3B-Pol Pot--Khmer Rouge commander has left a legacy of disease, starvation and timely RBIs.
6. LF-Idi Amin--former president of Uganda whose rule was characterized by human rights abuses, ethnic persecution, and political repression has a slick glove and is good for 30 steals a season.
7. 2B-Kim Jong Il--weak arm, talks a better game than he plays. Often criticized for his off-field apparel.
8. C-Mao Tse-tung--the Chairman, who is estimated to have killed between 20 and 67 million, is slow on the basepaths, and a poor game caller.
9. CF-Ty Cobb--the “Georgia Peach” boasts a career .367 batting average

Starting Pitcher
Vlad Tepes--Vlad the Impaler throws consistently in the mid to high 90's. Propensity to miss high and inside keeps opponents on their toes.


Good Guys
1. SS-Mohandis Gandhi--smart, team player who knows how to get on base. Great OBP and strong but calm clubhouse presence. Vacuum glove.
2. 2B-Jesus Christ--with Gandhi, forms the best keystone combination in the game today. Has brought shoulder-length hair and love back in vogue.
3. CF-Buddha--the founder of Buddhism can flat out rake. The prototypical 5 tool player.
4. LF-Dalai Lama--hits for power and percentage and is a rock in left field. A strikingly similar player to the man hitting ahead of him.
5. DH-Martin Luther King--leader of the civil rights movement has never been afraid of the big stage. A vocal leader who can walk the walk. Pencil him in for .300-30-115
6. 3B-Baha'u'llah--devoted his career to the abolition of racial, class, and religious prejudices and bare handing bunts hit down the third base line.
7. 1B-Albert Einstein--high baseball IQ. Always approaches the plate with a plan.
8. RF-Mother Teresa--known for working tirelessly with the terminally ill, her cannon arm and ability to get the timely hit.
9. C-Albert Schweitzer--one of the great humanitarians of the 20th century rarely allows a passed ball.

Starting Pitcher
Nelson Mandela--winner of the 1993 Nobel Peace Prize and 4 Cy Young awards. Location, location, location--Mandela paints the corners like no one else but can still summon the 96 mph cheese when it's needed.