I guess this DWJ story has made the rounds already, but it really is a gem.
www.djdimepiece.com/driver-arrested-for-using-adult-toy-while-driving/
Here's my imagined conversation with the arresting officers:
Sergeant Troy: You want to take this one?
Sergeant Peterson: No, you go ahead. It's just an expired registration.
Troy (knocking on tinted window): Sir? Madam? ... Oh, dear ... Uh ... Oh ... Ma'am, I'm gonna have to ask you to turn that thing off ... No, I can't wait. ... Now remove it ... Yes, all the way... No, I don't want it. ... Sir. Sir. Yes, you with the laptop. Turn that thing off, too. I guess that's not the news you were watching, then? Oh, and I'll take the crack pipe while we're at it. ... Alright. When you get your pants up, I'm gonna ask you to step out of the car. Peterson, get over here!
As good as this is -- the crack pipe and the passenger (friend? boyfriend? 10-year-old child?) -- I can see improvements: crashing into a KFC, perhaps, and of course the two toddlers in child seats in the back of the car. Any other ideas?
Sargeant Peterson:
ReplyDeleteWere you just at the fish market?
We don't know what was going on there Nobi. Maybe she was being held against her will at hot crack pipe point.
ReplyDeleteWow. I thought I knew how to party. Some people really know how to have a good time!
ReplyDelete